COVID Craziness in the City that Never Sleeps
A month ago, if you would have said “social distancing”, “COVID-19”, or “out of an abundance of caution…”, I would have given you a blank stare. Seriously, if I thought social distancing would actually become not only socially acceptable (and advisable by the CDC) - I would have started using the term a long time ago. These are now part of the regular conversations in this crazy “corona” season.
To all the introverts out there: this time of quarantine, cancelled events, and an abundance of alone time, we hope you’re soaking up and embracing this.
To all the extroverts out there: now you know how introverts feel in normal “extroverted” life full of activity and event flurry.
As an ambivert, there are aspects of this season I’m embracing and other aspects that are driving me “COVID crazy”. Inspired by a tax audit in December and Bill Gates’ reflection that one of the only things in life he can’t buy is “more time”, I’ve been doing a “time audit” to better understand where I typically spend my time. In this process, mixed in with the isolation at home, I’ve been striving to spend more time being a better Aunt, daughter, sister, friend, reader, worshipper, listener, server, phone caller, FaceTimer, remote worker, delegator, “stay putter”, Hallmark movie watcher, etc. Sidebar: Sam Page in the Hallmark movie ‘Christmas in Rome’ is just my type - thank you Hallmark for providing much needed low budget, sub-par acted, over-scripted movies to provide an escape during this pandemic. I’ll take you over sensational news any day!
The Oculus, normally a bustling transportation hub, mall, and community gathering space, now empty on a Saturday morning in Lower Manhattan.
Over the past few weeks, it strikes me that processing COVID-19 mirrors the five stages of processing grief: denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance.
People’s journey to get to the acceptance stage in all this is unique to each of us. When we (or our friend) lost their job or got sick themselves. When we were told to work remotely - indefinitely. When the Starbucks down the street closed. When the first case of COVID-19 was discovered in NYC. When President Trump started taking it seriously. When Redeemer Presbyterian Church services went virtual and your pastor live streamed from his living room (and you felt right at home with the messy book cases in the background). When the Met said it would close until July. The Olympics being postponed. NBA season cancelled. The realization that this year there will actually be no winning March Madness bracket because the series was cancelled.
For me, the invisible became “real” when people in my church started losing their jobs or getting sick. And then seeing Hope for New York affiliates like the Salvation Army seek to meet the growing demand for essential programs like meals and shelter as more and more people experience income loss and unemployment.
With this context as a backdrop, a few reflections on the last few weeks:
Won’t you be my Neighbor (or not?!)? | Connecting with Neighbors
The last few weeks have literally brought out the best and worst of us (and me). Beautiful acts of neighborly love and connection (neighbors helping neighbors, offering to pick up groceries for isolated seniors or others with chronic illnesses) mixed with seeing those around as “potential weapons”, potentially carrying a fatal disease. People walking around with masks and gloves on - accessories that three weeks ago, would have been deemed as, um, socially unacceptable. When un-waxed eyebrows and un-manicured hands have become the new “trend”, everyone going “natural”. We’re all entering into survival mode in our unique ways. Walking in the typically bustling streets around the Financial District, is eerie - seems like even the rats are in quarantine - have only seen one in the last two weeks and it was dead. New NYC record.
As we’re “sheltering in place”, my neighbor next door is too - I know this, thanks to the paper thin walls. Her barking dog is staying in place too. And her TV. Unfortunately, I know she’s now into the Andy Griffith show. The show’s opening theme song has become my new alarm clock in the morning - that or the hearing the Lord’s prayer being recited through the walls - thanks to Homer Simpson reciting “Our father who art in heaven, holler out your name. Thy kingdom come, I’m almost done”. My love of neighbor is well, getting tested.
Daily walks have become the highlight of my day, an opportunity to get outside and breath some fresh air. Stopping off at Duane Reade or the neighborhood grocery store, or on the days I’m really shaking it up, a stop at the local 7/11 for the paper. Grocery store shopping in the COVID era means seeing shelves empty - yes, the lysol, bleach, TP, hand sanitizer - but seeing the chocolate aisle foraged and thoroughly picked over triggered personal panic of potentially running out of dark chocolate: “if everyone else is buying, maybe they know something I don’t?”. Needless to say, I bought a few extra bars. The banter with my apartment building’s doormen has become a new highlight - some of the few people each day that I get to see outside of Zoom or google hangout sessions -- thank you George, Emilio, Anthony, and Aaron for being there for us during this season!
As neighborhood restaurants have been closing, one restaurant decided that instead of putting their extra food in the trash, they’d put it out for the community. Bringing some of that free fresh produce home, I sanitized everything and will be sure to support my local iPic dine-in movie theatre once they reopen. I appreciated the gesture of generosity and my Mom was thrilled that my thrifty upbringing is still very much alive and well, even in the COVID season. My grandfather (ever conscious of his budget) is also looking down from heaven praising Jesus that I’m still alive and well, knowing the value of a dollar!
Working….and well, doing life (and everything) from homebase | Connecting Virtually
The first week being at home and working remotely included the typical first three days of feeling freedom (singing inside, George Michael style) -- athleisure (fancy word for looking like I was going to the gym….which is indefinitely closed), daily 3pm dark chocolate and pot of coffee, and figuring out how to turn off work mode and turn on personal life mode by 7pm. It also included the inaugural uses of Zoom -- and realizing that Zoom actually has a feature that the host can know if you are multi-tasking during the meeting, thanks New York Times for the tip! Through all these virtual settings, favorite part is seeing your co-workers’ bedrooms, kitchens, and living rooms (and thinking about the significance of how they chose that background ie. book case background = yes you are intelligent?!?!). Through all this, the highlights were the awkward moments of people not muting themselves (but thinking they were muted!) and seeing people’s faces freeze at the most inopportune times. This has been new territory for us all.
Week two evolved into more structure - Pure Barre on demand in the morning (doing that with Mom for accountability!), getting dressed every morning - at least wearing a work appropriate sweater on the top and maybe animal print jeans on the bottom?! It included stopping the daily chocolate and coffee break (because it wasn’t the dryer that was making my jeans tight - it was the fridge!) and incorporating family prayer calls to swap notes on what’s going on in our lives and how we could be praying for one another.
My weeks at work have been filled with research, conversations, recommendations for philanthropy to consider flexible funding and opportunities to entrust nonprofits the greatest flexibility to fill in financial gaps in the short, mid, and longer term seasons as we all navigate COVID-19 era. Webinars, discussions with, and research on the NYC COVID-19 Response & Impact Fund, The Robin Hood Foundation, and Trust Based Philanthropy have definitely become bookmarks on my Google Chrome many of which have helped to inform Hope for New York’s relief fund efforts. In the midst of these webinars and discussions, I’ve realized that the living room wifi in my apartment is much stronger, leading to the dining room table being my “office”. This change quickly prompted my roommate to remind me that earbuds are made for a reason and they work great with your laptop. We all need to stay sane here!
In the midst of calendar notifications, text notifications and breaking news, my favorite “COVID” scam attempt was a text from “Jayson” with the US Department of Human Services (Jayson - just for the record, it’s called the US Department of Health and Human Services!). Flattered that you’d text me, Jayson, but I don’t think you exist and if you do, you’re likely a Russian mobster messing with the US government somehow. How do I say this other than “you’re not my type”, “we need to talk”, “it’s you, not me.”
Being Still and Knowing that He is God | Connecting Spiritually
In January 2020, I heard the Lord say that this year my theme verse should be: “Be still and know that I am God”. I had no idea how important that was going to be this year!
This season has literally made me stop, be still, and to remember that He is God. I’ve been more hungry for worship, prayer, reading Scripture, and being mindful of each moment. Hearing Tim Keller’s devotion on Psalm 11, I appreciated his reminders around using times of distress to remember to: “Stop ruling the world” (God is on the throne), “start taking the test” (what does God want to reveal in this season), and to “seek His face” (knowing that He is good, He is God, and I am not).
Listening to worship songs, being on prayer zoom calls, or listening to sermons, my heart is seeking wholeness and healing. I lament the horrible impact COVID-19 is having on our world, the lives that are being torn apart too early, families that are in distress, lonely hearts turning more lonely and isolated as the days and weeks go by. But in this season, I believe that our God is good. That He is Holy. That He is on His throne. Because of this, it is well with my soul.
Paige Benton Brown, speaking recently at a Redeemer Presbyterian Church women’s retreat focused on the story of Hannah, from 1 Samuel. She compared James Carville’s slogan of “It’s the economy stupid”, with God’s reminding us that “it’s the heart stupid”. God cares about my heart - and He cares about yours. He wants it all. Would you use this time to consider, be still, and pray to Him, our Creator?